Getting married is one of the most special times of your life. It can also be one of the most stressful, especially if you’re trying to have a perfect wedding. But it doesn’t have to be.

One of the reasons people generally find planning weddings so stressful is that they do it on a whim and without a solid or thorough wedding planning checklist. Understanding what sort of wedding you want to have, what decisions need to be made and what things need to be booked before you start planning are all important details that can help keep your stress levels low. Think of it like a roadmap. Rather than having just the next few turns laid out for you, having a birds eye view of the whole journey can help you mentally prepare for the entire journey. You’ll know how far you’ve got to go, what the plan involves and be prepared for what's coming so that you can achieve that perfect wedding (for you and your wedding party included).

10 Wedding Planning Tips And Tricks

BUDGETING

One of the biggest stressors in life is finances. So it’s no wonder it is also a stressor when it comes to planning a wedding. Added to this is the fact that it may not be your money you’re spending. Clear communication, up front, is the best way to avoid stress around money. Have a conversation with the people that are contributing and get clear on what they expect. Often people have expectations that they’ll have a say in certain parts of the wedding (such as the guest list or wedding venues), that their money will be used in a certain way or that you’ll include certain aspects as part of your wedding day. Be open, listen, get clear on what people are thinking and then you can make better decisions about accepting the money. Don’t forget, this is YOUR big day.

WEDDING DATE

Before you mention the date, ensure that key elements of your wedding day are all available. The most obvious of these are the wedding venues for the ceremony and reception as they can book out a year or more in advance. But if you have a special wedding photographer, a friend with a schedule that cannot be changed or a caterer that you have to use in mind, make sure you get a booking in with them as soon as possible to ensure that the key players are booked or have the date saved well in advance — I’m talking months or even a year out. It’s a good idea also to check in with them periodically to make sure that everyone’s still on board to make your perfect wedding day possible.

REHEARSAL DINNER

Depending on your planning process, a rehearsal dinner might seem unnecessary. In reality, it is often a great chance to come together with your bridal party in a fun and informal atmosphere. If the lead up to your wedding day is particularly stressful, this is a great time to celebrate with those closest to you and thank the maid of honor and others for their help in planning the wedding and bridal events. Also, there will often be last minute questions or information that you need to discuss (Like outfit approvals, parking information, arrival time confirmation, etc.). Rather than having the same conversation multiple times or being unsure if the messages have been passed on, you can get everyone on the same page prior to the wedding day.

WEDDING PLANNER

Hiring a wedding planner can make your planning smooth sailing. There will be bits and pieces that you may not know you need to think about (like keeping everyone on a wedding timeline or welcoming/managing guests as they arrive). They can remember to make the necessary last minute reservations and they become the go to person on the day. At the very least, ask a family member to be the go to person on the day of the wedding. Give them a list of all the wedding vendors and your cell phone. If the flowers don’t arrive or the photographer calls to get directions, this person can deal with the problems. You’ll be busy getting ready and enjoying the day. Make sure this is an organized person who will notice if things aren’t running to schedule or something is missing and can be an advocate on your behalf.

DESTINATION WEDDINGS

Often, a destination wedding can help streamline the process of getting married. Many resorts have a well-oiled wedding events process after being able to join together so many couples over the years. They will know what processes and schedules work well for their wedding venues. They will often have pre-approved suppliers such as hair and makeup artists that makes your decision making process easier, especially as you’re not living nearby. These big resorts will require a certain level of skill from all their suppliers so you can rely on their good judgment to ensure you are hiring the right wedding vendors. Plus, destination weddings will give you the best wedding photos you could hope for (and post on social media)!

CHECK INS

No, not for the honeymoon hotel. Make sure in the lead up to your big day, you’re having regular check-ins with your partner - about how both of you are doing, and what you guys need. Conversation, discussion and real talk are all key elements here. Talk about how you think the planning is going (wedding dresses and suits, whether someone sent back the RSVP card, how your wedding coordinator is doing, are the wedding invitations sent, etc.), what you need help with and what you’re excited about. Don’t turn the whole thing into a military style operation without some love sprinkled through it. You want the perfect day to celebrate in front of your friends and family, but you also want to enjoy the lead up. The bride and groom (or bride and bride, or groom and groom) need to stay connected and check in with one another during what can become a very stressful time.

WEDDING VENDORS

Where possible, make sure you test out your wedding vendors or make sure they come with good references. Do a trial run of hair and makeup. Test the food. See the work of the photographer. You want to remove the chance that what happens on the day is not what you expected. Afterall, you only have one shot! If you’re doing a destination wedding, the vendors are usually thoroughly tried and tested by the resorts. Otherwise, ask any friends and family living nearby for recommendations for the top wedding vendors, and then look up their reviews on Yelp or social media. Also, ask your close circle if they’d be willing to do some of the testing for you. I’m sure they’ll be happy to try out any potential cake makers for you! Your wedding coordinator can also help with this. Practice makes perfect, and you’ll want to make sure that the key players (your wedding vendors) are all tried and true to what you’ve envisioned.

ASK FOR HELP

This could be from your partner, friends or family. Being able to delegate certain parts of the day, decisions, pick-ups or processes will make your life easier. Don’t give tasks to people just because they ask though. Make sure you’re playing to people’s skills. If you have event planner friends, ask them to be the point person on the day. Ask creative friends to help you design the table decorations. Ask a close person to send out the wedding invitations, or to create your wedding website if you plan on having one. Someone can also help you with the seating chart, or keeping track of RSVP cards. Most people will be honored to be included in your special day and enjoy being able to put their skills to use.

MAKE DECISIONS EARLY

Planning a wedding requires a lot of decision making. Where, when, how many people, posted or digital invites, paper of the invites, indoor or outdoor, sit down or canapes, color scheme, time of the day, which wines, table decorations, who’s on the guest list… It’s an endless list. As much as you can, make decisions early. That way you’ll have time to fully prepare and come up with a backup plan just in case you need to pivot. Don’t put off things that you can make a call on now, as there will be more decisions to make later down the track (like planning for the weather and getting yourself glamorized and in tip top shape). Remove as much of the stress as possible by locking in as much of the day as you can early.

LOOK AFTER YOURSELF

Make sure you have a plan for yourself to get you to your own wedding day looking and feeling healthy and glowing. This may include a meal plan (so you don’t have to worry about being fit when trying out wedding dresses), booking a personal trainer to make sure you get your workouts in, time away to de-stress, regular massages or other ways to look after yourself. This can be a stressful time and you will want to take care of your own mental and physical health.